"Dear Mandy"

I have seen so many youth lately that remind me of myself at the same age. The same battles, similar situations, some worse situations....the same mindset, the same mistakes, the same pain....the same longing for peace that they cannot find. I see the same struggle for them being in church praising God one minute, and in less than in hour they are back in the same mess they walked out of, because they really have no power or control over their environment. Such kids have grown up all too fast, and as young teenagers are running around like little adults. It took me all too long to come to the realization that God was the only one who could heal my from the pain of my childhood. Not the idea of God, not going to church every Sunday, not standing in a prayer line, not religion or religious acts....a personal relationship with the Father. I first had to learn how to see myself as God saw me, and as I learned who I was in Him, I learned I had a huge misconception of life. This is a list of things I would like to write to a younger me. I wish then I knew what I do now, I wish I knew that my life would turn out to be wonderful! I wish I knew that God had a handpicked husband for me, who would love me through all the difficulties of life. For better or for worse, I first found unconditional love in My Ryan, and through him I saw the true character of God. So, here is my letter/list of things to myself....

Dear Mandy,

1. I want to tell you that you are loved. You are loved beyond words, by so many more people than you know! 

2. Love is not supposed to hurt. In fact, it doesn't hurt. Please do not build up a wall against love. Although you have had more people hurt you in ways that are not describable, there are people who truly love you now, the good bad and ugly. These people are in your life right now!! Please do not push them away, they are there because God has placed them there. Satan will do everything he can to destroy the image of love in your vulnerable mind.

3. Your parents love you. They are going through very difficult things in their own lives, things that you do not know about. You will be hurt, young one....but you will also find healing.

4. Stay close to Jessy. You will always need each other. Miles may separate you, different opinions will separate you, but nothing will separate the bond that you have with your sister. You will be very close in your adult life. You do not have to see someone every day to be close to them.

5. Don't hurt yourself. Please do not fall into the trap of hating yourself. Know, with all of your heart, that Satan is out to kill, steal, and destroy you. He hates you. Love yourself, you are worth it.

6. Keep writing. Always keep writing. 

7. You will make mistakes. Get up and keep going. There is no condemnation in Christ. You will waste so much time in guilt that Jesus took to the cross. If you let it, guilt will keep you from God. Pick yourself up, let him heal you from the fall, and keep pressing on.