Change.

I woke up early this morning, for some unknown reason. As soon as my eyes opened I was instantly wide awake. I was going to go sit outside on the porch for a while, but it was raining. As I looked outside it was dark and gloomy. I stood there in the living room with my door open, listening to all the sounds the Mt. Victory had to offer at 6:45 in the morning. The rain falling freely was so full of peace. The wind was blowing heavily, tearing leaves away from the tree they had spent the summer on. The leaves that stayed have changed colors in the last few weeks. They illuminate the community with their bright yellows and oranges and reds. My favorite time of the year. I have always thought that I was afraid of change. That it set me back and terrified me. But as I was standing at my door I began to birth a hunger for change. As much as we say we hate it, we all long for it. When it is summer, we cannot wait until fall. When it is winter we cannot wait until summer. When my hair is curly, I wish it were straight. If we stay in one weekend, I wish we were out do something. If we are out running around, I wish we were home. Have we (or I) become this monster who is never happy? The rain had stopped at this point, and I was well aware that it was too early in the morning to be having such deep conversation with myself. I realized today though that I am kind of excited for change. I long to see the bare trees. Maybe even to see some snow on the ground. I want to be content. I want to be happy when things are not changing, and to embrace change when it comes. I do not want to be so comfortable where I am that I miss out on what is next. There is a huge possibility that this doesn't make sense, and that is fine. It was the changing leaves that brought this all to my attention. The rain that I knew wasn't here to stay. The darkness of early morning that would soon turn to light. Change. It surrounds us, and it is a beautiful thing.